The Hindu marriage ceremony is the thirteenth among the
sixteen samskaras that the Hindu observes in his
lifetime. It is also the beginning of the Grahastha Ashrama stage of a Hindu,
which is the householder phase whose main duties include raising a family and
working for the betterment of society. According to Vedic tradition, marriage
is meant to "unite two individuals firmly together so that, although they
retain their separate bodies, they become one in spirit." Thus, Hindus
view marriage as a "sacrament" and not a contract. Since such
importance is placed on marriage, it is conducted in accordance with the rites
prescribed in the ancient scriptures, the Vedas.
Most Hindu marriage ceremonies last for several hours and
involve a priest who recites the rites in Sanskrit and makes fire offerings.
The God of Fire (Agni) serves as the holy witness of the marriage and there is
a small fire present in front of the bride and groom where offerings are made
to ensure that the "human spirit" is tied with the divine.
Traditionally, South Indian weddings--which the parents
usually arrange--involve the following:
Pre-Marital Ceremonies:
• Ganesha Pooja: Ganesha is the remover of all obstacles and
no South Indian ceremony begins without this pooja. The bride usually does this
pooja by praying for a suitable partner.
• Punyaha-Vachanam: Once a groom has been chosen a suitable
place and time for the wedding are chosen with a priest.
• Samkalpa: The groom gives his consent to marry the bride.
Wedding Day
• Welcoming of the bridegroom: The bride's father and other
members of the family ceremoniously welcome the bridegroom to the marriage
hall.
• Panigrahana: The priest sanctifies the ceremonial area,
and ties a loop of sacred grass on the bridegroom's finger.
• Kasi Yatra: The bride's father symbolically disengages the
bridegroom from the pursuits of asceticism. This pursuit is symbolically
represented by his journey towards Kasi, the seat of Vedic culture. The bride's
father advies the groom not to pursue asceticism, tells him of the greatness of
marriage, and offers his daughter as the bride.
• Exchange of garlands: The bride and groom exchange
garlands three times.
• Oojnal: The couple is seated on an oojnal, or swing, as
the ladies do dristhi, a ceremony where they ward off the evil spirits. The
bride and groom swing in the oojnal, which represents happiness and harmony,
which the couple will experience while navigating the "waves of life".
• Kanya Dhanam: The bride's hand is placed in the groom's
right palm, and the bride's father offers her to the groom. The thali, holy
gold thread, is taken around the marriage hall to be blessed by the crowd.
The
thali or Mangalyam is the thread or necklace that the groom puts around the
bride's neck. After tying three knots, they are officially married. If the
bride has an older sister, she helps tie the knots with the groom.
• Thaali Ceremony or Mangalya Dharanam: The groom ties the
thaali around the bride's neck. This is the climax of the wedding and is usually
signalled by the priest saying, "Gettimelam Gettimelam," indicating
that the musicians should play a tune that is associated with this ceremony.
This rite is done in the midst chanting of prayers, ringing of bells, rising music,
and the noise of the crowd.
• Sapta Pathi: Literally, "Seven Steps". Holding
the bride's hand, the groom walks seven steps with her around the ceremonial
fire. The prayers recited at this time mean, "You who have walked seven
steps with me, become my companion, whereby I acquire your friendship. We shall
be of one mind." If you are wondering why everything is done in odd
numbers, it is because, according to South Indian tradition, luck is present in
certain numbers--and they are usually odd numbers.
• Treading on grindstone: The groom places the bride's foot
on a granite stone to indicate the firmness of her love and faith. The groom
places a metti (silver ring on her toe), indicating his love and faith toward her.
• Homam: The married couple offers grain to the Fire God,
Agni.
• Asheervadham: After the marriage ceremony, the priest,
parents, family and guests offer their blessing to the couple by sprinkling
them with grains of rice to wish them prosperity and happiness. This couple
prostrate before the various members of family and guests to receive the
blessing.
Of course, there are several more steps involved depending
on how the families decide to plan the wedding. Usually, orthodox families will
incorporate several other poojas into the marriage process depending on their
beliefs. Moreover, parents do not arrange all South Indian weddings--especially
for South Indians living in the United States. Nowadays, more people are
finding it acceptable to find partners themselves; the Indian community is
accepting and allowing love marriages. However, this has not led to a decline
of traditional South Indian marriages. If the marriage is between two persons
of Hindu origin, the families still manage to incorporate all the traditional
ceremonies in the marriage. Often, there are compromises between families as
they decide which ceremonies will be performed, which ones will be removed, and
which ones will be altered.
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