Samskaras- Hinduism and Marriage

The Hindu marriage ceremony is the thirteenth among the sixteen samskaras  that the Hindu observes in his lifetime. It is also the beginning of the Grahastha Ashrama stage of a Hindu, which is the householder phase whose main duties include raising a family and working for the betterment of society. According to Vedic tradition, marriage is meant to "unite two individuals firmly together so that, although they retain their separate bodies, they become one in spirit." Thus, Hindus view marriage as a "sacrament" and not a contract. Since such importance is placed on marriage, it is conducted in accordance with the rites prescribed in the ancient scriptures, the Vedas.

Most Hindu marriage ceremonies last for several hours and involve a priest who recites the rites in Sanskrit and makes fire offerings. The God of Fire (Agni) serves as the holy witness of the marriage and there is a small fire present in front of the bride and groom where offerings are made to ensure that the "human spirit" is tied with the divine.

Traditionally, South Indian weddings--which the parents usually arrange--involve the following:

Pre-Marital Ceremonies:

• Ganesha Pooja: Ganesha is the remover of all obstacles and no South Indian ceremony begins without this pooja. The bride usually does this pooja by praying for a suitable partner.

• Punyaha-Vachanam: Once a groom has been chosen a suitable place and time for the wedding are chosen with a priest.

• Samkalpa: The groom gives his consent to marry the bride.

Wedding Day

• Welcoming of the bridegroom: The bride's father and other members of the family ceremoniously welcome the bridegroom to the marriage hall.

• Panigrahana: The priest sanctifies the ceremonial area, and ties a loop of sacred grass on the bridegroom's finger.

• Kasi Yatra: The bride's father symbolically disengages the bridegroom from the pursuits of asceticism. This pursuit is symbolically represented by his journey towards Kasi, the seat of Vedic culture. The bride's father advies the groom not to pursue asceticism, tells him of the greatness of marriage, and offers his daughter as the bride.

• Exchange of garlands: The bride and groom exchange garlands three times.

• Oojnal: The couple is seated on an oojnal, or swing, as the ladies do dristhi, a ceremony where they ward off the evil spirits. The bride and groom swing in the oojnal, which represents happiness and harmony, which the couple will experience while navigating the "waves of life".

• Kanya Dhanam: The bride's hand is placed in the groom's right palm, and the bride's father offers her to the groom. The thali, holy gold thread, is taken around the marriage hall to be blessed by the crowd. 

The thali or Mangalyam is the thread or necklace that the groom puts around the bride's neck. After tying three knots, they are officially married. If the bride has an older sister, she helps tie the knots with the groom.

• Thaali Ceremony or Mangalya Dharanam: The groom ties the thaali around the bride's neck. This is the climax of the wedding and is usually signalled by the priest saying, "Gettimelam Gettimelam," indicating that the musicians should play a tune that is associated with this ceremony. This rite is done in the midst chanting of prayers, ringing of bells, rising music, and the noise of the crowd.

• Sapta Pathi: Literally, "Seven Steps". Holding the bride's hand, the groom walks seven steps with her around the ceremonial fire. The prayers recited at this time mean, "You who have walked seven steps with me, become my companion, whereby I acquire your friendship. We shall be of one mind." If you are wondering why everything is done in odd numbers, it is because, according to South Indian tradition, luck is present in certain numbers--and they are usually odd numbers.

• Treading on grindstone: The groom places the bride's foot on a granite stone to indicate the firmness of her love and faith. The groom places a metti (silver ring on her toe), indicating his love and faith toward her.

• Homam: The married couple offers grain to the Fire God, Agni.

• Asheervadham: After the marriage ceremony, the priest, parents, family and guests offer their blessing to the couple by sprinkling them with grains of rice to wish them prosperity and happiness. This couple prostrate before the various members of family and guests to receive the blessing.

Of course, there are several more steps involved depending on how the families decide to plan the wedding. Usually, orthodox families will incorporate several other poojas into the marriage process depending on their beliefs. Moreover, parents do not arrange all South Indian weddings--especially for South Indians living in the United States. Nowadays, more people are finding it acceptable to find partners themselves; the Indian community is accepting and allowing love marriages. However, this has not led to a decline of traditional South Indian marriages. If the marriage is between two persons of Hindu origin, the families still manage to incorporate all the traditional ceremonies in the marriage. Often, there are compromises between families as they decide which ceremonies will be performed, which ones will be removed, and which ones will be altered.